In It Together

Tim, Sonia and the kids left for a very well deserved mini-vacation yesterday, leaving the three of us alone to run the farm. It’s exciting and nerve-racking all at the same time. “We can’t let anything die on our watch,” Kelli keeps saying. But I keep telling her, “We got this. We’re in it together.” 

After work yesterday, we cleaned out the two brooders where the baby turkeys live. We fed them their chick starter food, filled their water and added a spot of apple cider vinegar to keep the parasites away. We covered the floor of the brooders with fresh wood shavings, giving them a nice clean bed to lay on. One of the turkeys jumped on top of the water pail, staring at me in his King of the World pose. Kelli and I laughed for a while, together, then covered the brooders and turned on the heat lamps before heading down to the field.  

We all walked, side by side, carrying buckets of feed for Nakoma and Rio. They get fed last, so we set the buckets down and watched as the chickens put themselves to bed in the coup. Annabel crawled into the coup looking for eggs and refilling their food and water. “One of them let me pet it!” she said. Even chickens are happy when they are allowed to roam the Earth as intended.

Onto the big field. We opened the gate and Elsie came running, reintroducing her puppy teeth to my legs and her claws to Annabel’s belly. It’s funny watching a puppy play. To get away, Annabel crawled up on the turkey perches and the turkeys flew away. Not so much flew as crashed to the ground with wings flapping hard. Those ungraceful little buggers. And I guess I hadn’t realized it, but Elsie is so ensconced in the lives of the turkeys that they all eat together. They even share water buckets. I thought that was appropriate for the way life is on a farm.  

We fed the sheep and, well, let’s face it. Sheep are pretty dumb. Three piles of food we created, and they all tried to eat from the same one. The big ones stole it all, then went to the other piles and at last the babies followed. They had to be led to something, as if it were some sort of epiphany that things other than what is right in front of them actually exists. Thankfully the older sheep were good leaders and led them to something that was good for them. In the world, it so often seems to be the other way around amongst leaders and followers.  

Then the horses. I could see it in Nakoma’s eyes, as if he was saying, “Dude, I’m the oldest animal on this farm and you make me wait until last.” He actually snatched his bucket out of our hands with his worn-down teeth and skinny lips, set it on the ground, and began eating. Rio eats less, so she was done quickly and kept trying to steal his food. So he would head butt her and make her get away. And out of all the time we were in the field, that was the one moment where the animals weren’t living in the moment together. Apparently, Nakoma and I have a lot in common: you don’t mess with a dude’s supper.  

At last, I was able to sit with a cold Yuengling and reflect on the day. It was a monumental day in our country, one that I didn’t believe would ever occur. I grew up Republican because I was told to be. Admittedly, I don’t currently know what I am because, at long last, I am trying to feel my way through this world on my own and discover how I really feel about things. It is a work in progress, but I’m trying, and I’m learning, and the knowledge I’ve gained is far more valuable than the aforementioned familial dictum.  

One feeling I have that I am certain about is this: we are all in this life together. As Americans, as humans, as residents of this beautiful world. I’ve met some beautiful couples in my life. I think of our friends Wayne and Deena, two amazing souls who, through everything, find a way to love each other more and more every day. What would drive many of us apart simply pulls them closer together. I admire them more than I could ever express.  

I think of our friends Brian and Mark and how they have been together for thirty amazing years. They have established a life together that is as complete as one could imagine, always in full support of the other’s dreams as well as their collective goals. I am a better person because I have been granted the privilege of calling them my friends.  

I think of my own mother and father and how they were side by side until the last breath of life. One could not ask for more, except for more time. I think of my writing mentor Dr. Elledge and his husband, a man of God who wishes to live for his congregation as much as for his husband. Dr. Elledge has meant the world to me for many years, and I don’t think I will ever forget the things he has taught me.  

What is the difference between these sets of spouses? Not a damn thing.

As I venture through life, I have found that the times I must endure something alone are far more difficult than when I am together with someone. Before I met Kelli, I was a mess. I never thought I would get to where I wasn’t a mess. But she pulled me through and now I have the greatest gift that life could offer: a spouse to share the rest of my life with. Wayne and Deena also have that gift. So do Brian and Mark. So did my parents, and so does Dr. Elledge.  

I’m grateful for the gift of love I’ve been given, and I’m happy for all of my friends who have also been granted that same gift.